Working with Hostile or Uncooperative Parents/Carers

Elaine Kirk

Super Moderator
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I did a google search of the term 'uncooperative parents' within the .gov.uk domain and here are some f the results .
Starting with Gwent
Multi-Agency
Practice Guidance
Working with Hostile or
Uncooperative Parents/Carers

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2.

Definition

Parents / Carers and Young People may present in a number of ways and the
behaviour can be demonstrated on a continuum from hostility, threats and
violence through to superficial and ineffective compliance.

The behaviour includes:

Ignoring advice / and questioning the role of the professional
Re-interpreting / minimising the child’s needs
Effectively preventing the child seeing the professional (may be blatant or
agreed to appointment, but then ensure it does not occur)
Controlling discussion
Preventing meaningful contact with other parents / carer
Moving away
Manipulating and splitting professional relationship
Subverting change
Diverting discussions into arguments that distracts the focus from the child
Misusing complaints procedures.
Aggression and threats, including use of dogs
Evidence of implements of violence (dogs, knives)
Known history of actual violence
Non verbal methods of threat and intimidation e.g. gestures, East Ayrshire'sbody
language
Scrutinising and challenging the professional’s qualifications, experience
and knowledge
Audio or video recording of the professional
Controlling what partners and children say to professionals.
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East Sussex have a similar list
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East Ayrshire's doc actually seems to recognise that parents are people too and could have good reason to behave as they do
.
Bury also seem to recognise that uncooperativeness may not actually be uncooperativeness
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Reasons for uncooperativeness

There are a variety of reasons why some families may be uncooperative with
professionals, including the fact that they:
do not want their privacy invaded
have something to hide
refuse to believe they have a problem
resent outside interference
have cultural differences
lack understanding about what is being expected of them
have poor previous experience of professional involvement
resent staff changes
dislike/fear or distrust authority figures
fear their children will be taken away
fear being judged to be poor parents because of substance misuse; mental health
problems
feel they have nothing to lose (e.g. where the children have already been removed)
have developed a habit of in action/inertia
do not believe compliance will make any difference
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This is really interesting I think I may fill a thread :)
 
Now, let's see...

Ignoring advice / and questioning the role of the professional
Tick.
Effectively preventing the child seeing the professional (may be blatant or agreed to appointment, but then ensure it does not occur)
Tick.
Controlling discussion
Tick.
Moving away
Tick. (but only as a last resort)
Misusing complaints procedures.
Tick, while noting that this would probably be their definition of misuse, not mine.
Non verbal methods of threat and intimidation e.g. gestures, body language
Tick. I can be cold and frosty with a laser glare when annoyed.
Scrutinising and challenging the professional’s qualifications, experience and knowledge
Tick.
Audio or video recording of the professional
Tick.

Good job I don't live in Gwent (or East Sussex).
 
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