"Why are your Children not in school?"...Dealing with comments

I was home educated at secondary level in the 1980's. To cut a long story short I couldn't settle at public school and there was nothing else suitable locally.

Looking back at it really the only problem was the stigma from the local county council social services and a bit of jealousy from older siblings who had been to boarding school. The great benefit was having the time with my parents who sadly both died before I was 31. Aslo, I became very self reliant and independent and that favoured my career choices. Suffice to say, without formal education, I joined the military, gained the Queen's Commission and had a successful career as an airline pilot. I also achieved a Masters degree, am married with two children and have had a damn good life so far!

But the stigma was a real problem and only ceased when I turned 16 and no longer had to explain to people outside family that I was not at school.

When I talk to people about my experience I usually say that if home education was good enough for Queen Elizabeth, Sir Patrick Moore and Gerald Durrel then it was good enough for me! That usually shuts them up. Also, people are very interested in what the military selection board had to say about my lack of formal education. The selectors told me directly that it was not held against me in any way. The point is that the military are very good at dealing with young people. First and foremost they look at an individual's potential.. They are far less interested in the past.

At the moment we are sending our two children to school. However, if we ever home educated and had the kind of verbal abuse reported on this thread I would simply say:

"How dare you stigmatise my children. Do you realise the damage that could cause their development? Please keep your unpleasant thoughts to yourself".
 
We often get asked too and over 2 1/2 years have now got used to it. DS used to get nervous and glance at me as if to say "answer then..."
Supermarket cashiers often say "No school today?" or "which school are you not in today? Is it an inset day in your school?" and sometimes I say "No, not today" sometimes he will answer and cheerfully say "I dont go to school, Im home educated... all depends what mood hes in

Ive not really encountered anything really seriously negative, a couple of friends have thought it odd or say things like "But it would be cheaper and you could work and... your heating bills and theyd get a free school meal!!?"

But would it be better for him is how I respond?? I personally dont think so, I have to do it, deal with it and live with my choice and my children are allowed to choose school or not...
 

Diane

HEdups
Reminds me of something I read a while ago. One little girl was asked why she wasn't at school. She glanced up at her father and then said proudly:

"I'm not at school because it's incest day!"

I cannot imagine what the inquirer thought.

Diane
http://www.threedegreesoffreedom.blogspot.com
New blog entry - In the eye of the beholder
 

Jinnx

HE
My son's not old enough for school yet, but he's got to the age where people sometimes say "Does go to nursery yet?" or words to that effect. I just say "No." and offer no explanation/justification. I think some people find that a bit unnerving, but I quite like that!

Being an @rsey type, I'm likely to respond to queries like "why is he not at school" by asking if they went to school, and when they (presumably) reply "yes" responding with "and look where it got you, stacking shelves in Tesco <or whatever mundane job it is they do>, living the career dream aren't you?"

Disclaimer: I don't have anything against people working in shops/doing mundane jobs, but if people give me attitude they get it back with interest!
 
Disclaimer: I don't have anything against people working in shops/doing mundane jobs, but if people give me attitude they get it back with interest!
I think the worst offenders are the inverted snobbery working class types who have a dislike of children from working class families from going on to what they perceive as middle class careers.
 
When we started to home school a few weeks ago, I 'warned' my daughter that if we were out and about during school hours, that people would probably ask if she was poorly, had an inset day or why wasn't she at school.

She said she would just tell them she was being home educated and I have had my reply ready for those less informed about home education...

So today we had an optician's appointment and the opticians asked her why she wasn't at school.

She replied that she was being home schooled and they replied by saying: 'Well you will be well ahead of your years then and probably doing GSCE's next week, whish more parents would take responsibility for their children's education'

I was gobsmacked at the positive response!
 

Admin

Administrator
As I tweeted earlier, yesterday's public sector strike allowed us all to get our own back by asking teachers and pupils (as disdainfully as possible): "No school today?"

:boink:
 

Jinnx

HE
Now my son's a bit older, we've started getting asked a bit. He usually tells them, "I don't go to school, I'm a Home Boy!"
 
E

Ebony

Guest
The other day my kids were accosted by a very surly middle aged lady who asked them, "Why aren't you at school?"

Bringing my kids up to have self respect and getting tired of adults thinking that kids' private lives can be scrutinised, my children replied, "Why aren't you at work?"
 
E

Ebony

Guest
I don't know as they called after her as her and her husband passed us on a footpath in the countryside...but I imagine she was like this :rant:

We have tried being very polite to curious people in the past but there are those who treat home educators with utter scorn. I imagine a lot of these poor souls cannot WAIT for kids to go back to school, so when they see a child during the term time, it upsets them greatly. We live in an area with a high population of 'mature' people.

Even in supermarkets we hear old women tut and mutter about whether the school holidays are over yet...

Home educating has great autonomy and freedom, but it does come at a price - having to develop a thick skin and break the unofficial curfew that seems to be prevalent during termtime!

As one of my kids sagely said once, they must hate themselves if they hate kids...
 
home schooling

Hi Everyone!
I'm quite new to all of this so please bare with me!

I was just looking for some feedback as to how you all cope with peoples negative comments regarding home schooling.

We are home schooling our two boys 10 & 7 1/2 yrs and also have a little toddler 20 mths. We have recently moved house and had been speaking to our new neighbours who asked what school our boys went to. I explained we home schooled the boys and all the disadvantages of school and the wonderful advantages of home schooling. I was then told off like a naughty school girl in front of the kids!:embarrassed:
They went on to tell me they know all about class sizes etc and inform me that they are a retired school teacher and headteacher!
She said "I used to tell my pupils life is NOT about doing what YOU WANT to do so get used to it"... Such wonderful insight don't you agree?:mmph:
She questioned me non stop about socialising and curriculum and more....
I was dazed to say the least after that and disheartened at peoples lack off encouragement for using our valued time to educate our children, spending time and enjoying time with our kids, seeing them develop their skills and truly being apart of it. Not just getting a rushed 5 minute parents night talk twice a year telling us what your child is not doing... :focus:
Later that night I got a dressing down from a family member in front of the kids again on how they were social misfits and would be unable to make friends or have friends he then went on to ask my son hard maths questions which upset my son as he was so stressed he couldn't answer them.
My son later apologised for not knowing the answer and said he would go back to school if it meant I didn't get anymore hassle! Poor wee thing!

Anyone had any similar experiences and how do you handle the question why are your children not in school?
Hi Nina,I do hope everything goes well with you on this matter.I have just started to home school my daughter for 1year and a half,and it is great do what you know is best for you and your child.People do not understand about home Education at home. It is great a great thing to do as the children will know what direction to go instead of being presured into to subjects which they may not want to do.

I have been seen by the Education officer and she has said that it great what I am doing for my daughter.Good luck for you in the future.

Kind Regards

Sharron
 

Lecrue

New member
Hi Everyone!
I'm quite new to all of this so please bare with me!

I was just looking for some feedback as to how you all cope with peoples negative comments regarding home schooling.

We are home schooling our two boys 10 & 7 1/2 yrs and also have a little toddler 20 mths. We have recently moved house and had been speaking to our new neighbours who asked what school our boys went to. I explained we home schooled the boys and all the disadvantages of school and the wonderful advantages of home schooling. I was then told off like a naughty school girl in front of the kids!:embarrassed:
They went on to tell me they know all about class sizes etc and inform me that they are a retired school teacher and headteacher!
She said "I used to tell my pupils life is NOT about doing what YOU WANT to do so get used to it"... Such wonderful insight don't you agree?:mmph:
She questioned me non stop about socialising and curriculum and more....
I was dazed to say the least after that and disheartened at peoples lack off encouragement for using our valued time to educate our children, spending time and enjoying time with our kids, seeing them develop their skills and truly being apart of it. Not just getting a rushed 5 minute parents night talk twice a year telling us what your child is not doing... :focus:
Later that night I got a dressing down from a family member in front of the kids again on how they were social misfits and would be unable to make friends or have friends he then went on to ask my son hard maths questions which upset my son as he was so stressed he couldn't answer them.
My son later apologised for not knowing the answer and said he would go back to school if it meant I didn't get anymore hassle! Poor wee thing!

Anyone had any similar experiences and how do you handle the question why are your children not in school?
Hey!

I'm sorry that your neighbours gave you such a hard time about it. I found this list really useful when organising in my mind the advantages and potential disadvantages (so I can make sure I don't fall foul of them!)

http://www.educationcorner.com/benefits-disadvantages-of-homeschooling.html

Hope that helps.
 
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