Scared to tell my mother...

[ilianora]

Yes, I am an adult and I know I must have my own issues somewhere to even be thinking about this...
But I'm scared to tell my parents out plans to home ed. I don't know how to approach it and I know they are going to disapprove strongly. That's ok, we don't have to be on the same page with this, we disagree on a lot, but I'm worried I will lose their support.

Any advice on how to break it to someone you know won't take it well? With anyone else I couldn't care what they think but I don't want to fall out with my parents!

 

[llondel]

If someone is really opposed to it then you're not going to convince them with words, you just have to accept that they're not going to agree with you and get on with your own life. At what point were you planning on telling them? Can you just leave them to find out by some other method?

You can point out a few facts and demolish a few myths, but if they aren't listening then you won't get anywhere.

The three usual ones are

1. Socialisation - plenty of opportunities to meet other home educated children of all ages and other people in the real world, unlike school where it's the same small crowd and you're there to work, not socialise.

2. Progress - most home educated children are in advance of their schooled peers because they get more concentrated and targetted attention.

3. Exams - can be done, and often are done, by home educated children.

I guess a fourth one would be university, but more universities are becoming aware of the positive traits shown by home educated children and it's as likely to be seen as a plus, not a minus.

 

[Sheila Struthers]

Well it isn't a "forever" decision - the school system will still be there if HE doesn't work out. So pointing that out might help.

I don't think I've ever heard of a disaffected 9yo's school career being blighted by a bit of time out doing interesting things/relaxing a bit.

However, there is no point if they're going to be looking for guarantees of a set "trial time" or the like - it just doesn't work that way. The pressure will kill the very thing you're trying to achieve.

Another way might be to get them involved (a real and valuable help too) by taking the children out to do "educational" things (just about anything really). However they may be happier with the more obvious museums/zoos/science centre/country park ranger sort of thing at first.

A relaxed day (much quieter on a school day) having fun and answering questions (or working out how to later via your favourite search engine) will probably persuade them that the kids are learning heaps more than they would do at school - more difficult is persuading them that this is just as valid or more valid even because it is outwith the officially sanctioned "system".

But that can wait...

There are also plenty of examples of HE children who have excelled academically (not mine) which may help to reassure them.

 

[Mayfly]

Yes, I am an adult and I know I must have my own issues somewhere to even be thinking about this...
But I'm scared to tell my parents out plans to home ed. I don't know how to approach it and I know they are going to disapprove strongly. That's ok, we don't have to be on the same page with this, we disagree on a lot, but I'm worried I will lose their support.

Any advice on how to break it to someone you know won't take it well? With anyone else I couldn't care what they think but I don't want to fall out with my parents!

One approach is to simply not discuss it. Tell them of your decision and then say you are not otherwise going to discuss the details.

Granted, that won't work for everyone but, on the other hand, you are the responsible adult and are right to demand the respect of others.

 

[s836apg]

Hi
I wouldn't assume the worst... when we made the decision to home ed over 7 years ago, I was dreading telling my Dad. I was certain he would be wholly against it. What a surprise / shock I got when we broke the news... "Fantastic! Good on you! I think that's brilliant ." You could have knocked me down with a feather.
Even if your folks are against it in the beginning, I suggest they will come round once they see how well it works.
If it feels right for your family, I'd say go for it!
Fiona

 

[ilianora]

Thanks for all your responses, just wanted to update- I went to my parents house for dinner yesterday... I didn't mention anything... And then while serving out the dinner (with her back to me!) my mum just said 'I fully support your idea to homeschool'.
I was completely shocked, I haven't ever mentioned this to her! I *think* I've been liking home ed related Facebook pages and perhaps she's seen that and guessed? I just said 'oh....ok.....' :shocked: :jaw: And she changed the subject!

So relieved!

 

[Admin]

:sorry: your last post got lost in the moderation queue.

So glad everything is working out OK after all. :clap2: