Hi..strong willed 5 year old

Hello :)

We took our five year old out of school about two months ago.
We have a project book and at the moment are doing Greek Mythology as this was B's choice. We add to it spontaneously and do coloring of a picture and a few sentences about that particular god. Not every day..maybe once a week.
I'm finding it difficult to go anywhere including meet ups with others who home school as my daughter has become whiny, demanding and has major strops. Is this normal for a five year old.
We took her out as the school where feeding me loads of rubbish that she couldn't even write or and had her on baby books. Shes doing ok and is now through her own enjoyment of reading on Usbournes Young Readers and more. I dont push her academically but I find the whining and strops that can start just about anytime are giving me anxiety attacks.
I want to go and do more meet ups but I find my the time we get to going out the door due to her getting wound up its to late.
Am i trying too hard..

Elaine Kirk

Super Moderator
Hi. Have you tried splitting the day into eg two hour blocks and giving her some options?.
Also try jointly planning some outings in advance by both of you researching a subject of interest online then identifying somewhere local you could find out more?.
How about planning a swimming pool visit?
I am thinking if your daughter has been involved in the planning process and is enthusiastic about the visit the strops shouldn't happen.
Once she feels confident about trips out joining groups would be the next step.
Hi Sonia

I'd just relax and try to enjoy each others company. Lots of conversation and cuddles and not reacting when she gets whiny should do the trick. Forget about formal teaching - just read stories to her with lots of funny voices. Let her choose what she wants to do which will probably be playing! Don't worry about socialisation - that can add stress for both of you. Make sure you create some time or yourself in the day too.

Good Luck!


If she's been in school she'll still be reacting to school. Think of it this way, if she had been in prison, you would expect her behaviour to be disturbed and disturbing on her release and for some time after that. School is just another form of prison.

I agree with Lynn. Let her study what she wants and, if she doesn't want other people, don't force her. We adults can choose to socialise or not as we please. I think that children should be given the same choices.


de -schooling is part of the success of home schooling I believe. You need time for child to adjust to doing things different from school. getting used to not raising hand asking permission to pee etc. Remind her that she is free to ask questions and get the answers when she wants not according to other 30 children in same class or when it suits school curriculum. Part of the de- schooling is helping them learn that the reward is learning itself and enjoying learning not being forced to. I would suggest you maintain consistent home environment first then collect cues from child as to when and what they want to learn at first as the most valuable element home schooled children need is the genuine enjoyment from learning that most state schools take away from them. Once you have that , you could use schedule of learning integrating a bit at a time. the key element is that every moment is good to teach and learn and everything can be turned into a lesson. Allowing child to understand that the way we learn at home is different from way was done at school. Constant praise is fundamental in each and every little task. The social aspect is important you may find that if you make an effort to socialise your child she may be more content to learn at home, but this should be done as per child's needs not forced. Also lessons do not need to be at home. They can be in a museum a library or a café wherever it suits you in the car reciting numbers or timetables games . Everywhere you go it can be a lesson that is made fun and enjoyable. I find that if I throw something at my daughter by way of school work it can go either way guaranteed. However if I inform her of what has to be done and offer enough choices amongst those options I want to explore it allows the child freedom to choose between all viable options. It gives them element of control in their actions which reflects positively on their self view. lastly I always remind my daughter how lucky she is to be home schooled and to have a great teacher and opportunities that her peers do not have at state school. This makes her very proud. It is not easy at first to home school however when you get into a routine you will find that you will come to enjoy it greatly as a parent also as an educator. good luck
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